3/4

early AM
i usually wake up with totally negative feelings —
existence is bad — not just life —
——
? look for beauty & focus — but beauty and ugliness keep alternating — i start thinking positive and then see it’s totally ugly — it’s all shit —
——
politics is all shit — people are all stupid —
——

time passes — i’ll be 71 — each year nothing was done — now what — a page a day — ? — why bother to plan because i won’t do anything —
breath — deep — think — deep shallow — surface tensions — relaxation —
——
the words disappear into the background — the words float to the surface —
rise fall — float sink — surface
tension — pretensions —

what’s under the words
behind the words
inside the words
outside the words — works —
worlds —

COLLECTIONS — BONES — put the bones in the front of the cabinet drawers — face death — face dead things — death is what - not a threshold — something stops — movement stops —

standard stoppages — pages — layers
languish —
integrate
disintegrate
partials